


Battle of the Sexes

by DesertVixen



Category: G.I. Joe (Cartoon)
Genre: April Fools' Day, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-02
Updated: 2011-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-14 08:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertVixen/pseuds/DesertVixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why you shouldn't party too much on March 31st...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Battle of the Sexes

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Story originally published at FF.net 2/18/2004 - NO CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE TO THE STORY.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: The usual jazz applies. I don’t own any of the characters, I just take them out and dust them off. All hail Hasbro, Sunbow, and Marvel. And I guarantee you, their actions are definitely not authorized.

Morning hurt. They usually did when he hung out with his pal Jose. Hector groaned softly – the usual brass band was marching through his head, and he didn’t even want to contemplate sitting up just yet. Or opening his eyes.

A sound – soft, regular breathing – penetrated the din. Despite the post-alcohol agony, Hector had to smile. Apparently Jose hadn’t been his only company last night. Hopefully the lady had been impressed.

He turned his head, cautiously opening his eyes. There was an appealingly feminine shape under the light blanket, and he tracked his eyes along it. Elegant curve of neck, delicate facial features framed by short, feathery chestnut…

“Oh fuck!” Hangover headache was forgotten as he sat bolt upright in bed, and the woman sleeping next to him stirred, opening her dark eyes.

“This is not happening. This is NOT happening.”

“Shipwreck….”

“He’s going to kill me! I could not have gotten that drunk last night that I’d…not that I wouldn’t want to…but…”

“So you don’t want to do it again?” She held the sheet against her shoulders.

“Yes…no…look, you’re a gorgeous woman and all, but I like breathing.” He looked over at his clock, thanking God that it was early enough that everyone else might still be asleep. Thanking God that Flint was away on a mission. He remembered briefly that had been the reason Jaye had been out partying with them.

His one chance to sleep with one of the sexiest women he knew, and he couldn’t even remember it!

 

“Look, ah…I…why don’t you just go in the bathroom and dress? I promise I won’t look.”

“You’re a real gentleman, Shipwreck.” He could hear her gathering clothes, the closing of the bathroom door. A few minutes later, she emerged.

“Look, Shipwreck. We must have both just had way too much at the bar last night. I…” She looked uncomfortable. “I won’t say anything if you don’t.”

“That…that sounds like a plan.” He walked with her to the door. Hector opened the door and peered out, seeing an empty corridor. “Looks like the coast is clear.”

As Jaye stepped out, the door across from Hector’s opened, and suddenly Cover Girl was there, camera flashing.

“Smile, sailor boy! You’re on Candid Camera!”

“Are you tryin’ to get me killed?”

“Hector. Go look at the calendar.” Jaye had her poker face on.

He stood there and gaped at them, then scurried inside. The women stood there, silently counting. They’d made it to five when they heard Shipwreck scream. A moment later, he opened the door again, staring at them.

“April Fools!” The two of them sang it out, and a couple other doors opened, sleepy team members peering out.

****

“Oh, that was hilarious!!”

The three women – Allie, Shana, and Courtney – sat around the table at Macayo’s, browsing through the menu and sipping margaritas.

“It was, it was.” Allie giggled, topping her margarita off from the pitcher. “The look on his face-“

“The panic, you mean.” Shana had seen the pictures. And they were definitely worth the proverbial thousand words.

“The panic,” conceded the brunette. “That was the best April Fool’s joke I’ve helped pull off in a long time.”

“We could have let it go on a little bit longer, but…Shipwreck’s not really such a bad guy. Just…persistent.” Courtney grinned. “Steak fajitas, I think. And definitely another pitcher of margaritas.”

“Definitely another pitcher of margaritas,” nodded Shana.

“Letting it go on any longer would have been cruel,” said Allie solemnly. “And my mother always told me not to be cruel to dumb animals.”

“Like men?”

“Exactly.”


End file.
